SELFISH, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
- Ambrose Bierce
I asked a friend of mine today if he thought I was selfish. He said "Everyone is selfish." Everyone? I wasn't sure if to believe him, or if I should be a psycho (like p) and analyse the phrase until it didn't exist. I came to the conclusion that I agree, and disagree with him in equal portions. Logically speaking, we're all individuals and would naturally act in favour of ourselves, and naturally seek what pleases us. If we don't, then who else would? On the other hand, acting solely for that purpose, without an iota of concern for anyone else is what I think the word-makers had in mind when they created it.
Somehow accusing someone of selfishness doesn't always pan out well. I don't recommend it...even if you do it indirectly, and especially if that person doesn't take criticism well (but thinks they do). Chances are you'll have a harsh criticism of the same thing slapping you right back in the face. From there you have two options: 1) Shut up, or 2) Get pissed off. Being the calm person that I am, I chose option two.
All I can say is that I'm sorry for thinking I could depend on a friend. Wanting to, and thinking you should be able to is not being selfish. It's being human. Getting pissed off because you expected not to be able to is also normal. I consider myself to be a dependable friend, even when I'm not asked. But apparently that's my ego speaking. For the sake of not arguing further with that friend, which would be the equivalent of individually plucking out my eyelashes, I am now choosing option three: Not giving a shit. Think what you will of me (even though most of those thoughts have no real basis). I know who I am, and what my actions have been. I have nothing to defend.
In that sense, I am selfish. According to Ambrose anyway.
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