In the rotation of crops there was a recognised season
for wild oats; but they were not to be sown more than once.
~ Edith Wharton, The Age of Innocence
Americans have this saying about "sowing wild oats." It's supposed to be that time in your life where you're allowed to do whatever the hell you want, and not be held responsible for it. My ass. So deceptive these little sayings are.
Yet again, I find myself in the position of making an important decision. Again, part of me says yes, the other part says no. I've already done the deed in my heart a thousand times, so does it matter if I actually physically do it? There again is the deceptive reasoning. I have never in my life wanted to do something so wrong so badly. Situations in my life have been similar, but there was always a justifiable, or 'understandable' reason to acquit me of some of the blame. This is completely different. There's nothing to blame it on, nothing good enough anyway.
I think I just hate being an adult. Making your own decisions, and shaping your own character is too difficult. Like, when you're a child...all your decisions get made for you. Ironically, this is when your most important decisions will have no real bearing whatsoever. Whether or not you should eat the applesauce is not going to determine the rest of your life or who you become. Outside of being a possible apple lover.
But I guess, as they say, that's life. Wish me luck.
3 comments:
Part of being an adult is understanding how serious it is to not only sow wild oats, but also to know how it is to be sown, in which soil, and also how to eat it daily.
Depending on the culture of the country you live in, another part of being an adult is to conform or, to put it bluntly, to stop having fun. The latter makes no sense to me since fun is a large part of being human and what separates us from mole rats and chip-chip.
Now guilt is what keeps us from prison and also keeps us from offending others who could do with a little offending now and then. What we must understand about guilt is that, like bikini wax jobs and tattoos saying "eat me", it doesn't work in our favor all the time. Guilt has a negative ring to it and it means our conscience is bothering us. We develop our conscience based on our experience and that of our friends who eventually made it to the dog house. Some make decisions based on superstitious beliefs and others make them out of common sense. Wisdom is based on commonsense and insanity is based on superstition. Naturally, I would choose wisdom over superstition any day because I also believe in enjoying my life and being human.
Fun happens and exist only for a short time and there can be good fun and bad fun. Good fun is good for all and bad fun is bad for all. However, the good type of fun can lead to happiness, which is long term and what life is all about.
I forgot to wish you luck so, Good Luck hs :)
Thanks aka_lol. :)
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